There are a lot of hard things to deal with around pregnancy loss. One that really messes with your brain is phantom flutters. Even though little Walnut was not big enough yet for me to feel movement, I have little flutters in my abdomen today that are driving me crazy.
I still haven't processed that I am no longer pregnant. I keep pausing before saying yes to caffeine or alcohol, associating my nausea to hormones, and being careful about pressure on my belly (though it is very tender and swollen from my D&C).
I hate this. I'm so angry and sad and disappointed.