Bereft

I have written 3 or 4 posts but stopped with my finger hovering over the "publish" button because I realized that I was not really getting out what I wanted to say. The problem is that what I want to say is inexpressible. How do I explain just how broken my heart is?

This December, this year, has been watered with so many tears that I am surprised I am still capable of producing them. I cry at home, I cry in the car before and after events, at events, with friends, alone...there isn't an end, it seems.

I've been so incredibly angry this past week, and it has taken all of my willpower to hold it inside so that it doesn't spill over and hurt someone I care about. It's just a symptom of my shattered heart, I know.

So here we are. Christmas Eve. Two, not three. Quiet. Alone. Bereft.