A Step Back

I had a sudden realization this morning that I am investing far too much time and energy and emotion into the process of trying to conceive and it is negatively affecting my life. With symptom notes and potential due date calculations and pregnancy tests and google searches and obsessing over everything, my mind has been so wrapped up in it that I have ended up with a big joy deficit. I haven't been the wife, employee, or friend that I should be, and that's not cool.

I made the decision to mostly step away from the app that I use to track everything. It was a really hard decision because I have been a part of an absolutely wonderful group of ladies on the social part who have had similar experiences to me and are also now trying to conceive. They've really kept me afloat some days, but I don't have the willpower to open the app to talk to them and not end up staring at my notes and making calculations.

As I drove to work today, I was listening to a devotional CD in my car and the message was basically about letting things distract you from what is important in life. I wasn't looking for a confirmation, but there is was all the same.

I am taking a step back. I plan to use this blog a little more often to channel my emotions into something positive, and in all the time I will save by not obsessing, I'll do things that I enjoy and invest in all of my relationships in a new way.

I'm only a few hours in and it is already so hard (I miss my app ladies!) but the sense of relief I feel is another confirmation that I am doing the right thing.